Making History whist the World Watches!

Today I was reminded of the old Me, the more liberated individual who’s always spoken her mind!
It’s been 3 years since I voiced my opinion against indoctrination so in light of recent events…
Im a freedom baby and what does that mean? Well I was born when apartheid ended and that meant I havent experienced the struggle nor have I ever been racially prejudice or experienced that. Its going on strong 22 of “democracy” and it seems we havent eradicated the survival mode mentality out of us… Before even getting to the protesting, protesting in South Africa has never been somewhat of a peaceful protest, to us theres no such thing, “it aint a strike unless there’s a fire or people getting arrested”. In terms of satiyagra/peaceful protest, it means to not use any form of physical or verbal actions, so what does that mean, peaceful protest/ resistance are sit ins, lobbying, making a stand like Rosa Parks! As a nation we are nowhere near to ever being on that same level as them. We have this mentality that its ok to fight, damage or harm one another to get our point across. But thats not the “freedom” our parents and theirs before them fought for… They wanted us to achieve our goals and have equality so that our way of life is not based on race or faith denominations, we are so suppose to be equal cause thats what the constitution upholds. But is that whats happening, yes we are free and this is a democracy but as long as we keep playing the racist card we as a nation will never move forward or evolve as people… When we say apartheid has ended it means its over and we’ve moved on but we havent… The Truth snd reconciliation commission was created in order to heal the wounds of the past, we had to have forgiven the transgressors in order to heal our own wounds but at the rate we are going that couldnt be further from the truth. We are so fixated on the past that we are unable to move on, past the pain and suffering cause lets be honest, majority of the us havent even lived in the heart of apartheid to ever even begin to understand the pain and suffering…

This whole protesting going on, well firstly I agree 100% with the mandate set for the basis of this protest regarding fees increase, there are some people are who cannot afford, that I understand and fully support but lets get real universities itself needs money to operate and why the increase? Cause government withdrew a certain percentage of finance from institutions so in order to maintain that same standard of education they needed to increase fees, yes I understand that its still alot and I agree! But the way students have behaved in recent days for the duration of this protest is completely ridiculous! Harming innocent individuals cause they dont share your view point, then you my friend are not educated! Removing students from classes cause you feel they should be supporting your view point, just because you feel that protesting now of all days whilst we are preparing for our final exams are more beneficial then by all means you do that. But dont try and force other students to leave cause all our priorities are different. Yes I agree about the spike in fees is ludacris but I also value my education more. Theres always a better way of doing things. If we show this kind of mentality, especially if we are suppose to be the educated ones then we have not evolved and learned anything from our troubled past.
I will not let schooling get In the way of my education, very basic definition of this, I will not allow peer pressure of individuals stop me from getting an education! You can take away my cash or assets but my knowledge is mine and mine alone. If we want change learn to work together and not alone and before a stampede breaks out and people get hurt or even worse killed, lets meet half way and unite for change! We are suppose to be the rainbow nation, so lets colour in the gaps!

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Welcome Rachel

I’ve reached this point where I realised that people are just unbecoming of allowing another to be happy. A friend of mine finally achieved something great, alghamdulilah he’s working and earns his way halaal and for some reason when he obtained his first asset it was if they weren’t happy for him.

I don’t understand cause in my opinion those who love you regardless if they doing it out of Love shouldn’t bring you down… If they know you made a mistake that’s their opinion. What might be right for you might not be right for them.

He was so proud of his achievement that as soon as he left the room the negative talk began. In a way that’s like casting a evil eye or naf on someone. Was I his only support??? I hope not cause to me its his first step to becoming a man! Independency that’s what we all seek so allow him to live this liberating experience of his life. If its a mistake its his to make and eventually like we all did he will learn from it. I take my hat off to your bravery for taking this risk. I get you want to protect him but in the end saying no will only make him want it more… So instead of having him doing it behind my back I’d rather be informed and try to guide you. End of the day its your decision. To my lil Bro 2015 our year of experiences, we both achieved part of our independency, so alghamdulilah welcome to the family “Rachel” may the almighty protect you and Him and keep you safe inshallah ameen. Here’s to the start of many more things to come!

Ramadan 2015

For some reason I found today so hard… Alghamdulilah I had the opportunity to witness once again this beautiful month of Ramadan but with this beauty came the challenge that tested my patience. I’ve always been short tempered but in this one month I wanted to learn to control my bad habits and become more learned. Alghamdulilah I gained some amazing knowledge that I feel so inspired and ready to take that step to becoming a proper (not perfect) young Muslim woman. This challenge itself was hard as now came the challenge of giving up on the status quo of modern society and submit to the lifestyle of Islam… Regardless of how shy and embarrassed I felt I wore my non-shaped clothes and scarf and it liberated me as I gained this confidence to step out of my “home” gaze lowered and with my creator in my heart I did my daily bidding… Mashallah how halal I felt cause it felt so right!

The second part of challenge was patience and I feel like this is definitely a problem majority of us struggle with. It’s amazing how a drop of water can make one lose your cool at something as trivial as someone not driving the way you want… As if rushing will make the time go any faster for iftaar. Countless times I found myself on the verge of cussing at someone but then stopping cause I’m fasting but that doesn’t make the intention of what you were going to do any better. Alghamdulilah it never came out but it was on my mind and there it was… my failure… This Ramadan I wanted to focus my fast on not just fasting with my stomach but every inch of my being… Why is it that anothers actions or ways bothered Me so much. Countless times I was in a situation where my heart just wanted to smack someone and tell them to be quiet. It wasn’t too long ago when I was a lost soul that blew around like a leaf in the wind but because I made a change I expected everyone else to conform… That was wrong of me cause everyone finds Allah  (swt) on their own and when our Creator feels they are ready to accept, understand and be one with Him. But coming back to my patience. I was speaking to a friend and explained what I felt what I felt and how great I’ve felt.. at peace  cause I’ve started preparing for the Aghira but it was as if this individual was blocking what I was saying purposefully because of guilt… It wasn’t my intention to do that cause at the end of the day we all have made mistakes but we shouldn’t allow that from handicapping us in becoming A Mu’min… Our all forgiving Creator wants Us to ask Him for help And guidance for in his hands lies our Jannah. This simple act on my friends part irritated me so bad that I wanted to slap them but then it made me realise how frustrated does our creator not get with when we  repeatedly make mistakes! How amazing is Allah (swt)! Was it my child, I would have raised my hand long ago but has our almighty ever shunned us or cut us off?! No! He waited for us to go down this path of mistakes so that we will find our mistakes and realise it’s wrong and find Him when we ready and follow the example of the Prophet Muhammad (saw). Belief/faith is the key… Patience is the ideology and Islam is the Way of Life!

A few years ago I was so lost that I just went astray… But one night in Ramadan I was just thinking and all of a sudden I heard something being recited. I got up and followed the sound and it was the words of Surah Mulk being recited by Minshary Rashid Alafasy… People always speak about a near death experience and it felt as if this was mine… My life flashed before my eyes and all I saw my tears, my sorrow, my pain and it was all caused by me… It was as if through this mans voice Allah (swt) was calling me to join Him one day inshallah in Jannah… He was airing m showing me the path to the Siraatal-Mustaqeem and in that moment I fell to my knees and found my place in the world. I wasn’t unhappy cause I was alone. I was unhappy cause Allah (swt) sent everyone away and out of my life so that it could be Me and Him alone but because of my need for man-made approval I was to oblivious to see what was before me

Quoting from Surah Mulk

[” When they are cast therein, they will hear the (terrible) drawing in of its breath even as it blazes forth,

Almost bursting with fury: Every time a Group is cast therein, its Keepers will ask, “Did no Warner come to you?”

They will say: “Yes indeed; a Warner did come to us, but we rejected him and said, ‘(Allah) never sent down any (Message): ye are nothing but an egregious delusion!'”

They will further say: “Had we but listened or used our intelligence, we should not (now) be among the Companions of the Blazing Fire!”]

I don’t want to receive my miss Call to Jannah cause I was too busy answering the call to Jahanam. I feel like this ramadaan Regardless of my faults, failures or unknowing… I became a more stronger person in who I am and what it is that I want in life… Worldly possessions mean nothing… At the end of the day I’m bettering myself so that I can enter the Aghira one day inshallah. I ask the all forgiving, merciful, graceful Lord of the worlds to forgive me of all my past mistakes, and grant me all the strength in the world to overcome my faults. Grant me to think Less as thinking less will stop Me from allowing worldly affairs and politics to cloud my judgment. Help me put My Creator first in everything I do and give me the ability to start everything with Bismillah… Show me my path but Ya Allah guide me in everything I’m doing and help me to not repeat past mistakes. Give me the Sabr to be patient with others as You have been with me, keep me on this path of emaan and help me to learn more and strengthen my emaan daily in everything that I do and am.

Alghamdulilah as we start saying goodbye to this blessed month, ask the Almighty to continue to keep you on this path and to protect us all from the whispers of the shaytaan but instead ya Allah Whisper in our and give  us the guidance to that I may bow down before You in Jannah as a Mu’min…

Al Wida Al Wida ya Ramadan Asalamu Alayka ya Shahru Ramadan

Bismillahie Allah hoe Akbar

It’s time to lift my Feet and Keep Walking!

We all reach that stage in our lives when we feel enough is enough and finally just let go of all the unhappiness and pain and keep moving forward. Regardless if you not happy with things all you gotta do is push through and all will be well eventually. It may seem hard now and the journey endless but eventually all journeys to self-realization will find it’s end. My journey has only begun…

C’est la Vie

Keep On Smiling

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Realization

The epitome of life is found when the realization of truth is recovered from the deceit of imagination.
It is our nature to go after this freedom that eludes our thoughts as we are too afraid of what lies ahead. Is it our fear that makes us afraid to see what truly is out there and if it is why should it be if we claim to be our own person.

I walked the footsteps, of a what feels a lifetime, into an independently controlled future. we were the awoken free generation of 94′ but did that mean we are free?
freedom came at a cost of bounding ourselves to parents who claim to love you but hover to ensure that history does not repeat itself. Was the born free generation emancipated in order to be stopped from bumping there heads so that no sense is knocked into it?!
but wouldn’t this exact protection drive us into the arms of that mistake. I would think my intelligence has taken me a level above the normal standard of thinking and for that I would think that my vision for what I want is much more. We as individuals don’t know the true brunt of what life ought to be like. We aren’t even living a fraction of dreams life has to offer but maybe we might be someday…
maybe its not the mother nature of wonders around the world we are destined to experience but rather the beauty that’s before us…

I am this way and I’ll always be… Acceptance

It’s 2 am and my brain is a ball of wool… I cannot seem to find the end to my thoughts. There are so many worries that I feel exhausted of thinking. I cannot seem to find the light to my tunnel cause I haven’t even entered into yet but what does that mean, have the dark time not even begun yet???
Staring into this hollowed hall and wondering is this how never ending the mind is or is this just illusion that one has cause we over compensate for what we see as important and stressful. I’ve always been the glasses’ half full kinda girl but I’ve started questioning every decision I’ve made over the last year as if I know it were wrong. For so long I’ve been wondering down the emptiness and loneliness and confusion road, not knowing which side is up and which is down. I’ve been in this state of equilibrium a sense of Switzerland and been living on auto-pilot cause I was too afraid to feel the guilty pleasures that’s driven my entire existence. When I’ve looked in the mirror before all I always saw was this emptiness, a vessel, a creation out of the expectation ones had but I’m finally ready to say enough!

Quoting Javed Akhtar
“I am the way I am and I will always be
Whether someone is happy or even if they are unhappy I will never change my style.
Whether they understand this or not, I will keep saying , I am the way i am and will always be.
I am the princess of my feelings and the queen of my mind, why should I wear a veil, if the scarf drops, let it
Whether they smile or pout it does not bother me if what i say causes a rift.

I have no desire to adorn my palms with henna or to hear the wedding flute play, I am quite happy in my own home, Thank You
If you can hear me, oh priest, let me clarify, I don’t know that I will ever agree to marriage
Whether anybody’s upset or happy about this, I won’t change myself, people might be hurt about this but I wont budge.
I am this way and will always be…”

In this sense i know who I am and what it is that i want out life but right now I’m still finding my steps. Yes i over-think things but so it;s that i don’t look back and question myself. things i decide are hundreds something i stand behind. Some Day ill be fortunate enough to fulfill all my duties and commitments but until that day all i gotta do is be myself and prepare for that infinite oncoming inevitability. I have and always been this way, it’s time for me to take back my life and live it
Best Foot Forward
Keep on Smiling 🙂

Lost in Despair

Crazy how insane creamy blushing jumping flattering you make my core burn of jealousy and approval!

I depend for a smile to say jaan I love you, so when you kiss me again it won’t be out of lust but a deeper meaning because I’m yours.

You don’t even realise what it is that I feel, be it desire or something deeper like an existence dependant on one another

My gosh my desire of love flows greater than my entire being, that it pains me to think that I might never be yours… Your heart, sigh, is so damaged and is with someone else

Just hug Me again or say the words that would make Me the loose my breath in an instant, God only knows what it feels for me to have this depth of despair

Oh Lord hear Me and guide me to the right way and stop this hammering pain of confusion and desire from igniting the greatest heartbreak of my existence